Straight Pride… Oh, really? When did you last get beaten up for being straight?

One of the most effective ways for a straight, white man to show just how stupid he is in comparison to his peers is to call publicly, and with an air of being deeply wounded by perceived exclusion, for a ‘straight Pride’ because it’s just not fair that LGBTQ+ people get to have an annual parade in cities all over the world.

You can answer him by punching* him in the face and, when he’s down, kicking him until he’s hospitalised on life support. Don’t forget to tell him he’s filthy and that God hates him while you’re attacking. When he asks, through busted lips, eyes barely open, “Why did you do that?” you can simply answer, “Because you’re straight.”

That’s when the idiot might finally realise what LGBTQ+ people the world over still face, every single day – along with being imprisoned, tortured and murdered – and why it’s important to highlight that we’re here, we’re queer and you’d better get used to it because we fought for rights in the UK, we still fight for better representation, and we continue to support the fight for others to get the same rights around the world. STRAIGHT PEOPLE ALREADY HAVE THOSE RIGHTS, ESPECIALLY WHITE MEN.

Find me the country where being openly straight can land you in a cell or on the end of a rope.Find me the religious text that talks of God being love but at the same time advocates the slaughter of ‘abominable’ heterosexuals.

I don’t think it’s the case that any straight person really thinks there should be a straight Pride because they somehow don’t ‘get it’. They get it alright – they just aren’t wanting anyone to have anything they don’t have. It’s the same drive that has men demanding a men’s officer in universities – because women have those, and it’s just not fair. Boo hoo. Oh, and the accompanying featured image for this post is the city of Orlando in the US. That’s where LGBTQ+ people were slaughtered in a terrorist atrocity committed by an anti-LGBTQ+ bigot. We will never forget.

*Disclaimer: I don’t advocate beating anyone up. Ever. You have to include disclaimers these days as the deaths of metaphor and allusion, now incomprehensible to many people, are imminent.

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Andrew’s latest book, myfibromyalgia: one man’s experience of living with chronic illness, is out now in all Amazon store territories the world over. The ebook is £5.99 and the paperback £8.99. UK Amazon link.

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