Who will be the UK Government Prick of the Year by the time it ends?

It will be hard, come the end of 2020, to decide which member of government will deserve the accolade of being dubbed Stupidest Prick of the Year. They appear to have temporarily buried the delightfully kind and team-minded Pratti Patel (of course I jest, and no, she’s not a bully because refugees don’t count and neither do civil servants) along with Jacob Rees-Mogg, who’s probably siring his 37th child by his wife as I type. Poor woman probably needs a drawbridge and steel wire to hold it together by now.

So, it’s a tosser (a toss-up too, I suppose) between Matt Hancock and Michael Gove. Gove inspires the idea of writing a picture book called The Goldfish That Lied, but Hancock…

Hancock should win, not least of all, for his demand that a female MP (and frontline medic) should watch her tone while failing to watch his own. And also for his insistence that the government is doing a great job. If the aim was to rank number one in death count, yes, it’s astoundingly brilliant. Hancock is so deliriously inept, it might be advisable to check his temperature.

And with a government gifted an 80-seat majority in December to be floundering so, you might be forgiven for thinking they came in expecting to only do one thing in five years and that was leave the EU and start importing dead chickens in swimsuits from the US. The virus came along, however, pissed on their grand schemes and brought into question the viability of disaster capitalism when the disaster involved stops people from working and shopping.

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