Moving: not just a physical change but a psychological one as well

Woke early and got to thinking, often not the best thing for me but hey. Everyone says moving is one of the most stressful things you can do, coming second only to bereavement; also, that it’s harsh on kids and, after a brief adventurous window for some people in their twenties, gets more traumatic as … Read moreMoving: not just a physical change but a psychological one as well

Stories of Dad I-V

Bernard, father of Andrew

Remembering my father today. The sacrifices he and millions of others made, and their bravery. I remember some of the terrible truths of WW2 as told to me by my dad, things you won’t find in the history books, stories of what it was really like, which was nothing like the movies and video games. … Read moreStories of Dad I-V

Social media paints a false picture

Tweets and Facebook comments present opinions without context, totally distorted. When you read them, they can make you feel you’re not alone in your feelings and opinions. You can be connected to others who have the same interests or illnesses and disabilities. All this can be good, when you’re talking about loneliness and depression, illnesses … Read moreSocial media paints a false picture

Sex, dating, disability

Sex and dating I covered in my book on living with fibromyalgia precisely because sex and disability are not often discussed. Generally, within my own gay community, the attitude to notions of disability and sickness are appalling. The image to maintain, buoyed up by gay media, is one of unsustainable and, for most, unattainable physical … Read moreSex, dating, disability

Caring for a loved one with delirium: raw truths

Imagine, if you will, a large battery that, when exposed to certain environmental factors, discharges rapidly until there’s no energy left in it. That’s me. One hour in the presence of my mother when her delirium is high, when every word spoken is nonsense and paranoia, with my heart bleeding at seeing her suffering, and … Read moreCaring for a loved one with delirium: raw truths


Extremists are trying really, really, really hard to drag this country backwards through time. We have to fight to go forwards. The genie of hatred won’t go back in its lamp easily or quickly. When you encounter the ‘reasonable racist’ believing every word of the propaganda he spouts, his entire life built on fictions, it’s … Read moreExtremists

Fibromyalgia: no sleep tonight


Fibromyalgia is an invisible bully refusing to leave me alone. It has no form, no mind of its own, it’s a neurological issue with no agenda and yet I hate it so much my teeth clench in the dark.

Love in a time of hate is revolutionary

Love and hate

This evening I realised, in conversation with a friend, that I’m grieving for the country I thought I lived in. I know, come what may, it’s never coming back. The social, economic, cultural and emotional landscapes are all deteriorating and shifting into meaner, uglier shapes. Hate is everywhere. Oh, there will always be good people even … Read moreLove in a time of hate is revolutionary

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