Caring for a loved one with delirium: raw truths

Imagine, if you will, a large battery that, when exposed to certain environmental factors, discharges rapidly until there’s no energy left in it. That’s me. One hour in the presence of my mother when her delirium is high, when every word spoken is nonsense and paranoia, with my heart bleeding at seeing her suffering, and … Read moreCaring for a loved one with delirium: raw truths

Love in a time of hate is revolutionary

Love and hate

This evening I realised, in conversation with a friend, that I’m grieving for the country I thought I lived in. I know, come what may, it’s never coming back. The social, economic, cultural and emotional landscapes are all deteriorating and shifting into meaner, uglier shapes. Hate is everywhere. Oh, there will always be good people even … Read moreLove in a time of hate is revolutionary

Love and water – an exploration of ideas prompted by consideration of the topic of grief

There was a time long before the dawn of humanity, or even life on earth, when the sea covered the whole planet. There was nothing but time not measured, space uncharted, the wind, gigantic electrical storms, and water everywhere. Then, something sparked and life began in that vast ocean. Our ancient ancestors could be found … Read moreLove and water – an exploration of ideas prompted by consideration of the topic of grief

Love and loneliness: drop the need

I see posts by people desperate to find love as if another person will complete them and provide meaning to their lives that they don’t perceive themselves as having when they are on their own. And when I say ‘on their own’ they would call it alone and lonely. This is absolutely the wrong approach … Read moreLove and loneliness: drop the need

The dad-shaped hole: living past a death

My dad in hospital

My dad died December 27, 2017. He was 96 years old. A month later, it would have been my parents’ 70th wedding anniversary. He’d been admitted to hospital in late November with a chest infection that was successfully cleared, only to be followed by him catching an antibiotic resistant E. coli. It took up residence … Read moreThe dad-shaped hole: living past a death

After Orlando: time for zero tolerance of hate

Blood bans, mockery, ostracisation, bullying, stabbings, murders, alienation, dehumanisation. A boy turned scarecrow, strung up on a barbed wire fence, his funeral picketed: GOD HATES FAGS. Jesus, Jesus, hallelujah! Declarations of war in bathrooms: “Trans! Trans! Lock up your kids!” Christians refusing to do their jobs when they’re asked to certificate same-sex marriages. God destroyed … Read moreAfter Orlando: time for zero tolerance of hate

Poem // He Stroked His Mother’s Hair

He stroked his mother’s hair as she lay on the bed, lost in a fiction, sensate world of danger, phobias and betrayals. She calmed and then he said, for all the love you gave to me, I give it back to you in full but my debt to you can never be repaid for you … Read morePoem // He Stroked His Mother’s Hair

How to be enriched rather than enraged 

I used to be capable of debating subjects indefinitely, ‘sticking to my guns’ (that phrasing, I now realise, familiar to all, clearly defines debate as argument as combat). It was hugely important to me to ‘win’ and ‘conquer’, especially in matters with some relation to morality and conscience. This isn’t a man thing; I’ve met … Read moreHow to be enriched rather than enraged 

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