When you lose your mum, and then the plague begins

It is four months today since my mother died in what was her bedroom in my house. I was holding her hand in my hands and guiding her down a sunlit path lined with trees, at the end of which my father waited for her. He was dressed in a smart best suit, and had … Read moreWhen you lose your mum, and then the plague begins

Sex, dating, disability

Sex and dating I covered in my book on living with fibromyalgia precisely because sex and disability are not often discussed. Generally, within my own gay community, the attitude to notions of disability and sickness are appalling. The image to maintain, buoyed up by gay media, is one of unsustainable and, for most, unattainable physical … Read moreSex, dating, disability

Love and loneliness: drop the need

I see posts by people desperate to find love as if another person will complete them and provide meaning to their lives that they don’t perceive themselves as having when they are on their own. And when I say ‘on their own’ they would call it alone and lonely. This is absolutely the wrong approach … Read moreLove and loneliness: drop the need

The dad-shaped hole: living past a death

My dad in hospital

My dad died December 27, 2017. He was 96 years old. A month later, it would have been my parents’ 70th wedding anniversary. He’d been admitted to hospital in late November with a chest infection that was successfully cleared, only to be followed by him catching an antibiotic resistant E. coli. It took up residence … Read moreThe dad-shaped hole: living past a death

Poem // Perfectly Imperfect

When first he set eyes upon you, you were perfect; a warm light, drawing him inside, no moth to a flame analogy – for no one could ever be destroyed by entering the citadel of you, determinedly prising a lock open, a way into your heart, though fires rage there, it is true, deep below … Read morePoem // Perfectly Imperfect

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